I woke up a bit depressed this morning.

Being on a shitload of medication, low mood is not a significant problem for me. It was more like existential questioning. You know how depression is built on unpleasant thoughts that cycle around and kind of amplify? I had 0% enthusiasm for starting work so I took a walk on the beach.

Total boss move. I'm still on a high from all that natural sunlight. The temperature was perfect, not quite 30 degrees, and the wind blew coolly. The contrast of cool - warm breeze on my face actually smelled nice. After I got home, although I had a billion things to do which were more important, I did some oil painting (on Water Crystals). While painting - and this is a part of my life which is awesome - I get to watch or listen to whatever I like, and I felt like watching the documentary Free Solo, which is about climber Alex Honnold. I love analysing the structure of the documentary, and also, I love the theme - Alex lives a life of performance, where he is the best he can be. His message is, whatever is most important to you (for me, it's making art), what work will it take to make it happen?

So, I felt rather inspired and refreshed from watching Free Solo. After watching the film, I got working on a commission, and watched Tomorrow When the War Began on Netflix. Tomorrow When the War Began is a series of books for teenagers by John Marsden which rank in my top ten favourite books absolutely ever. The series on Netflix is one of several screen adaptions. I love this series, directed by Brendan Maher and starring Molly Daniels. It's just so wholesome. Immersing myself in it reminds me of a lot - how it feels to read the books. The optimism, dreaming; how stories make me play.

I pulled myself from my slump by soaking myself in inspiration. Being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's a lot of drudgery. However, grown ups have basically limitless freedom of choice.